“B” Day

Well, yesterday was the day that we were supposed to go to the beach. No, I didn’t totally flip out about food and decide not to go.

On Wednesday, while we were at work, our home was broken into. The thieves didn’t take too much – a couple of laptop computers, a game console, and one of my fiancé’s pistols – but in the grand scheme of things, it was relatively little. Of course, we are mourning what they did take. We are also mourning our feeling of safety.

Wednesday night, after I had found out and had talked to the police, I had to take my youngest and get her something to eat. That is probably the closest that I have come, mentally, to cheating really bad on this diet. My stress level at that moment was so high that I almost didn’t care anymore.

As a teacher, I bad mouth operant conditioning as a way to teach children. For anyone who is not familiar with operant conditioning, it involves using punishments and rewards to achieve a desired behavior. I would have to say that for me, operant conditioning, as well as developing a strong habit of eating right, has played a crucial part in getting me through this weekend (as well as having the most supportive fiancé on the planet). See, when you “cheat” on this diet, there are consequences. Usually there are consequences with any diet – you gain weight. But this is different. You physically experience the consequences of your eating. If I eat sugar, it messes with my digestion and my energy. Grain products make my energy tank so bad that I don’t want to get out of bed for two days. Talk about punishment!

I said that we have been mourning our safety. We decided to take the opportunity of our long weekend to move. Since it is very short notice, I haven’t been able to pack a little here and pack a little there for a few days up until moving day, but starting Thursday night, have just been madly packing like a mad woman. I am so tired and stressed at this point that I can feel myself starting to get sick. But we will get through it all, we will feel safe again, and life will continue on, much better than before.

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